[Misc Jokes]

[Woman Analysis] [Man Analysis]

Man - A Chemical Analysis

Element: Man

Symbol: Gy

Discoverer: Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)

Occurrence: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties:
a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated well.
c) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
d) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with WO (Snore... zzzzz).
e) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
f) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
g) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

Chemical properties:
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
c) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red).
d) When saturated with C*H*-OH alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
e) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
f) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

Storage :
a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.

Uses :
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.


[Misc Jokes]